Saturday, July 31, 2010

Angel Of Destruction (1994)

1994 - Angel Of Destruction (Concorde-New Horizons/The Pacific Trust)

[Also released as "Furious Angel"]

Director/Screenplay Charles Philip Moore Story Paul Maslak Producer Cirio H. Santiago Executive Producers Mike Elliott, [uncredited] Roger Corman Associate Producers Rob Kerchner, Christopher R. Santiago Cinematography Joe Batac Jr Music Michael M. Elliott, Elliot Anders Editors Brian Katkin, Terry Kelley Production Manager Honorato R. Perez Jr Line Producer Dulce V. del Pilar Production Designer J.B. de Jesus Music Supervisor Paul Di Franco Stunt Coordinator Ronald Asinas Stunt Players Lito Jacomina, George Vinarao, James Torres, Ike Asuncion First Assistant Director Totoy Torres Second Assistant Director Cani Celis 2nd Second Assistant Director Totoy Vinarao First Assistant Camera Jimmy Delostrico Second Assistant Camera Rene Pacheco Camera Lifter Dencio Friles Clappers Ramon Lazaro, Narding Sta. Maria Script Supervisor Gay B. Bustamante Script Supervisor Assistant Cecile Brobio Production Coordinator Ramon Mendoza Casting Director Enrique Reyes Casting Assistant Caloy Luna USA Casting Mark Sikes Sound Mixer Do Bolutano Boom Operator Dalmacio Dumigpi Gaffer Proceso Lazaro Best Boy Electrician Felix Pascual Electricians Ronnie Nadura, Pat Bice, Josh Dorsey, Victor Olguin Utility Head Eddie Fernandez Utility Assistants Lando Lopez, Pablo Lastimoso, Ogie Lopez Key Grip Ruel Dona Best Boy Grip Chris Lastimoso Grips Bong de Guzman, Cinco Nervato, Jeff Weitzel, Tony Gomez Post-Production Supervisor Jan Kikumoto Post-Production Coordinator Michael Kuge Post-Production Assistant James A. Williams First Assistant Editors Nick Edgar, Brett Hedlund, [uncredited, listed on IMDB] Travis Dultz Second Assistant Editor Allison Dean Apprentice Editors Will Leicy, Mark Sikes Art Director Ben Delina Set Director James Price Prop Master Al Abendano Prop Assistants Ferdie Suarez, Restie Peralta Set Dressers Ernesto Delina, Rene Delina Painters Tony La Torre, Baby Vivero Leadman Steven Path Swing Teresa Kelly, Ken Hawthorne Construction Coordinator Troy Bostwick Lead Carpenter Steve Sothan Carpenters Bill Lowe, Chad Baker, Harry Starr, Tim Jouet, Lisa Jouet Key Scenic Shari Minchow Costume Designer Jennifer Larson Wardrobe Supervisor Norma Cruz Wardrobe Assistants Gloria Garcia, Joey Tajanlangit, Michael Magadia Key Makeup Teresa Mercader Assistant Makeup Remy Desamparo, Nita Luna Stand-In Nene Varca Special Effects Juan Marbella Jr Production Accountant Armando S. Lacsamana Production Secretary Cynthia V. Cruz Production Nurse Vicky Banzuela Location Manager Danny Mercado Transportation Coordinator Geronimo Holandez Drivers Antolin Samson, Jim Pasewater, Tony Reynoldson Generator Driver Jose Badilla Generator Operator Jose de Leon Still Photographer Nilo Odiaman Stage Manager Tom Dolezol Catering Services Reynith Lapid Production Assistants Jef Afanador, Daniel Beck, Brian Harper, John Perkins, D.C. Dorino Interns Matt Edson, David M. Miller, Clint McCune, Joe Grube, John Dellinger, Heather Sutton, Adam Kuppersmith, Michael Singer Re-Recording Supervisor Michael Clark Re-Recording Mixer Ken Regan Dialogue Editor Butch Johnson Sound Effects Editors Ken Regan, Paul D. Carloson Foley Supervisor Georgina Spellvin Foley Recordist/Editor George Spellvin Foley Artists John Smith, Joan Smith ADR Recordist Michael Clark Sound Transfer Engineer Earl Rankin Color Timer Chuck Winston Ultra-Stereo Consultant Dan Victor Steadicam Operator [uncredited, listed on IMDB] Larry Cain

SECOND UNIT Cinematography Ricardo Remias First Assistant Cameraman Sheri Altman Sound Mixer Enteno Dona Boom Operator Lance Hedlund Script Supervisor Linda Taylor Production Assistant Tosca Philips

Cast Maria Ford (Jo Alwood), Charlie Spradling (Brit Alwood), Jessica Mark (Delilah), Antonio Bacci (Aaron Sayles), Chanda (Reena Jacobs), Jimmy Broome (Robert Kell), Bob McFarland (Sonny Luso), Chuck Moore (Chet Wailner), “Tim”/Timothy D. Baker (Tony), James [Gregory] Paolleli (Danny Marcus), Jim Moss (Sergeant Rooney), Steve Nicholson (Dino), Mark Duffy (Rodman), Henry Strzalkowski (Louis), Zenaida Amador (Mrs Kona), Paul Holmes (Coroner), John Kater (Carl Wells) Mercenaries Ronald Asinas, Manny Samson, David Smith, Nick Nicholson, Santi Laurrari [uncredited] Mike Cassey (Reporter #1), Larry Cain (Reporter #2)

Review from the Bad Movie Knights website:

Since the inception of this cathedral of bad cinema, we have sat through some really awful shit for you. Movies so bad, that Ralph Macchio himself would turn down scripts for them (actually thats bullshit, he would mow my lawn at this point in his career....which would be a nice compliment to Lorraine Gary who does my laundry currently). Today we have a Bad Movie Knight first. I have failed you. I have met my match in the form of Angel of Destruction.

To date, I have been able to view without interruption some sensational road side disasters.....but Angel of Destruction lasted all of 13 minutes before I rapidly excised it from my video player. I have not seen such awfulness since I watched the Bronx Executioner (which for the record I manage to view in total, however in fairness, I did so to get the name of the director so I could hunt him and his family down for taking those 2 hours of my life).

Angel of Destruction does of course contain some incredibly bad acting, and bad story, which are the cornerstone of bad movies, but it contains one giant fuck you to us, the viewers. The title is Angel of Destruction, which implies, yes this movie is most likely going to suck dead llama ass, but at least there will be some hot chicks and sex right? Nope. The 'Angel' is anything but. Actually she is butt. She looks like my ass. Come on. You couldn't find one attractive woman for this part? When I saw the cover, which boasted the tag line 'So hot she'll knock you out cold'.....I was immediately skeptical. She fails the hot part, and aside from passing out from sheer disgust at seeing her unclothed, there is no way this methodone clinic reject could knock anyone out.....unless her secret weapon is her breath which contains liberal helpings of whiskey mixed with the rotting smell of teeth, decaying from the over indulgence of cocaine.

Nudity. Sure there is plenty of it. And yes I only watched one quarter of an hour of this film. The nudity however, is provided by women, that should be wrapped up like mummies and buried in underground crypts for eternity. The breasts in this movie defied logic. Spanning the spectrum of natural breasts that looked like fried eggs, sunny side up style, that have fallen behind the grill onto the tile floor at some nasty greasy spoon, to medically altered franken-tits, that I could have done a better job creating with a power drill and a tube of bathroom caulk. Ladies, boobs aren't supposed to look like bottle nose dolphin heads.....unless you are trying to bang Aquaman you should obtain a refund. Back to Angel....ugh. The only way to keep from seeing her naked was to pull the tape out. I've gotten more aroused watching Faces of Death, and honestly less disgusted.

Heed this warning. This movie is bad, in a very, very, bad way. I would recommend something from our Costner collection before travelling down this highway of visual doom. Angel of Destruction. Fuck You.

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